wAtAShIwA rEi....________/*......the beyotch______who loves....to crap =D______

Y Tuesday, May 17, 2005Y

7:44 AM

first of all,i dont expect anyone to read this...this post is espeacially to one gal,the gal that hurt me deeply...and i hope she read this and realize which i dont think she will..and i belive she will fight back and think she's rite! 10 yrs i've known her..thats her!!i cant take this anymore thats why i wrote this!!i had enough!!

I felt the gap. Something is pushing us apart, yet everything's normal. She doesn't call me for outings anymore. Oh maybe I'm no longer one of the close friends. Maybe in a new category, as a friend. Where are the bits of us?

ah ha so u felt the gap...u think what cause us to be push apart?? THINK!! everythings normal cuz i just dont want to care so much and dont wanna think bout it!! ask yourself this,who cause the relationship to be like this?? of all friends,why mus i have problem with you only?? gosh WHY???

I miss the moments of us together. If only friendship last.

it can last...but u make such a big fuss bout it and i too dunno why..

It's sad to only talk to you when I'm down. The happy moments are shared with almost everyone, excluding me. I really thought we were closest among others, but im wrong. I'm indeed wrong.

when you're down,aren;t you at least one bit appreciate the times i wuz there for u!!! do u even remember how worried i am?? do you remember when i call you to ask weather do you want me to overnight with u?? do you remember how concern am i when you're sad?? what is so freaking sad bout it?? i never even ask it back from you...do i basically have many happy moments?? do i?? why issit excluding u?? what makes you think so?? waht happy moments i have that u think i didnt share with you?? tell la!! what you want?? you are wrong..and why?? think bout it!! dont just say for the sake of saying!!!

I used to receive friendship messages. Used to receive calls to go for a movie. Used to share our food. Used to hang out at Starbucks. Used to do almost everything together.

do i even RECEIVED it from u???do i???do you even thought of spending time with me??think of who you are alwiz with?? did you spare time for me?? sighz...some mornings,i dont mind sitting alone in asia cafe..waiting for cheese to arive...the times that i dont even noe you are goin to see him...u just left halfway...times when both of our class starts at 9 and at 8,u rather go to the cyber cafe...and i'm all alone again...also nvm..i'll just tell myself,she has her times,she has her times...after class,lectures,him...i use to ask weather are u joining for lunch,but then,i dont feel like asking anymore,you wont be there...used to do almost everything together?? thats when you dun have him...and even when u have him..theres no time for me..........no more.....

I begin to hate college! I do have friends, but I don't have a close one among all. I do not belong to both 2.3, 2.2! I love the way Steph talks to me. I felt a little wanted. I really feel comfortable talking to her as a friend.

then go ahead....if thats what makes u think so.... then go ahead....i dont want to explain anymore!!! how can you expect to be close with one when you noe your 100% is with who...and i'm stupid to think "its ok,she loves her bf very much,thats why she doesnt spend time with me anymore" i nv even feaking complain!!! and such small matter now,you go talking bout me like i'm some kind of shit!!

It's the 10th year I've known her. Friendship doesn't last.

you can say its 10 yrs!!! wow you noe that!!! then why until now still this??? why until now still wan to talk all this stuff?? if you were my friend,u will NOT talk this out!!! not from yr heart!!! now i noe what u think bout me!! thanks for saying this out...now i noe what u think of me even until NOW!!!! a 10 yrs freind woudn't say this when she's with me!! bullshit!!

Thank God at least I still have my dear to be with me all the time. I used to depend on her, I really liked her as a very good, close friend. Things changed. At times she can even talk to cheese and ignore me. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. But it's not just once, but a couple of time.. Speechless..

thats rite...depend on me...and i wuz there..even the terrible moments u've gone through...appreciate it!! did u?? did u?? if u did,you woudn't have wrote this!! yes you are sensitive! very indeed!! i talk to cheese and i also got talk to you..just that i guess you wanted more attention..if not you wont say this..at least cheese noes,i will make sure you are around..i will look back..sometimes i will say eevonn?and look and make sure you are there..its the same..you not telling me halfway in the morning u are seeing him and then go..and i'm alone..its like the same..i nv complain..why must you write this?? *hurt*

I don't expect anything from you, it's just that I feel we could be better than that. I come to think Rachie is much nicer to me, although I seldom see her.. If only we could be like what we are in Form 4/5.

if you feel that we could be better,then make it!i will make it too!! oh another one,rachie? ok then go to her!! i dont care..if you think that way go then...its just cuz we know each other so well and when someone not close to you talks to you,you go.."i feel wanted" "i feel she's nicer"....aiyo then go lo...this thing u said...make me even noe how u think or frendship is?? sighzz.. typical!

Thanks for being there when I had difficulties 2 months ago. But in 2 months, things changed, a lot. A very different one.. Sad...

i'm so glad you noe this...wow u thanked me!! awwww so sweet...i nv expect your thanks beside the other two months...i dont expect..i just be ther when u need it...nah...why bother?? such thing..you can say..

if this is what you think,go ahead and think it,i dont wanna care bout it anymore....
i wasted many tears for this wan...i get so hurt receiving this...cheese say "nvm,she will noe that you are a true fren ONE day"....the things ppl backstabb her for the past 2 yrs..why defend? younger days,ppl dislike me becuz i wuz with her,and yet i dun care,why? she doesnt noe all this i guess...rite now,she noes how to think our relationship as what she type in all those italic words...

we look so fine today,chatted things like normal with me not knowing you said this yesterday!!how could u??

I HAD IT!

......try to find a hand to hold but every thouch felt cold to me......