wAtAShIwA rEi....________/*......the beyotch______who loves....to crap =D______

Y Wednesday, September 06, 2006Y

8:53 AM

WARNING: EMO POSTTTTTT EMO POSTTTTTT (at least i warned ya) =D

7th Feb 2004

a day that i will never forget in my life..i was form four back then..i still did recall how i felt when i fell for my close friend.the excitement and all....

well i would say he was indeed my first love...and also my frist kiss

haha..im not sure if most people believed that their first love will last forever but i was one of them..well, we were so in love back then, i guess both of us really want to commit into the relationship..

but as time goes by, as we all know, there will be some arguments and misunderstanding..i admit,most of them were caused by me..i guess its because of his patience and care towards me, i grow to love him even more and more..till a point where i feel that i cant move on with life if i didnt have him..he believed in me and have always hope for me to change one day..

2 years and 5 months have passed..it was middle last year when some big argument happend..we broke up..

i got soo sooo sooooooooooooooo hurt guys..i feel angry..and i wanted him back..but well it didnt happend..and i was confused and all..i dunno what to do..

and then the pain turned to hatred..i begin to curse him..think bout the bad times instead of the good..i begin to regret..and my faith for love have been dimmed..

few months after our break up..he got another girlfriend and in december..i got another boyfriend..both of us have moved on with our lifes

it was the month of july this year,a year after my break up.i went to the bon odori festival 2006 with my boyfriend..and i think back bout the past..boy..what memories...

i told my baby that i really want to talk to him again..that i really hope we can be friends that catch up with each other lives..that when i see him and when we talk bout the past, we will giggle and laugh and just have a great time together..

baby told me not to worry for he belived that one day, this will happen..

so i decided to wait for that day to come.. i dont wan to expect much as all i wanted was to be in talking terms with him..

today marks another happy and memorable day for me..

my ex actually pm me in msn..he said he is sorry..i dun noe for what reason..but i accepted his apology.. =)

i'm amazed...i'm so happy till i dunno how to describe how i feel....my heart feels light and im jumping with joy..

not only i am in talkin terms with him, i got to know that he actually accepted christ long time ago.. =D

i told baby bout it and he's also happy for me..tai sek la bb..^o^

since july, i've thrown hatred and regret into the dustbin and replaced it with care and faith...i feel so immature when i think back on what i felt and kept in my heart..

when i close my eyes, i think back on all the good ol times we've had..the love we've poured..the times we've laughed and the times we've cried..i smiled..for i know, if it wasnt for him, i wouldn't be what i am today as i learnt so many things about life..i've changed..

he will always have a place in my heart for he was once a wonderful chapter in my life and i'll always pray for his hapiness (his gf is so sweeet) and health and that our lord god have mercy on him..bless him and shines his love upon him..

when i grow old,i think bout this times..yea..ill thank lord and ill just enjoy as the memories hum a sweet tune in my mind..

thank you,chan kin hoong,thank you.

as for you tee kian hoong (dun ask me, i also dunno why ki's and hoong's seem to appear in my love life), i dare not say forever, but i dare say you too will definately be another wonderful chapter in my life..i love u baby and i really wanna have faith that we can make it long, not until husband and wife long cuz thats just too long and still far away, well...jus long =).muaks my cute coconut.. ;p

with lots of love, julz <3